As 2011 comes to a close, I find myself torn between two emotions… melancholy and controlled excitement.

Melancholy is kind of a different emotion… maybe regret is a better word.  I had high hopes for what 2011 was going to bring and some things didn’t turn out as I had hoped.  I always beat myself up over the “should have’s”.  Don’t we all do that?

I should have went to the gym more…

I should have spent more time in prayer…

I should have showed more patience with my kids…

I should have complimented my friends more…

I should have…  I should have…

I can “I should have” myself to death!

The trick is to turn this regret into resolve.  I resolve that 2012 won’t be filled with as many “I should have’s”.  However, the question that always comes to my mind is how do I do that?  How do I make sure that I don’t end up reliving this same moment one year from now?

There are 4 steps that I’ll be putting into place to lessen the effects of “should have’s” on my life… 

1.  Determine the why – When someone tells me or asks me to do something, I’m more apt to do it if I know why they are asking me.  The “why” is the result of my action.  Why do I want to go to the gym more?  Why is patience important when it comes to my children?  If I can see the result of my actions, there’s a better chance that I’ll follow through.  I’ve learned that when the why is stronger the how becomes easier.

2.  Design my plan – I’m a planner by design so it’s important to me to figure out what I want and then put steps into place to make it happen.  It’s like preparing for a roadtrip… starting with where you want to go and then mapping out the route to take to get there.  I don’t want to go through life as a person that things just happen to… I want to make things happen.  To me, it’s the difference between being an active participant and a passive spectator.  I’d rather play than sit on the sidelines watching.

3.  Develop my disciplines – Every plan needs action steps… it’s the how to the why.  Many times, people have grand ideas but no movement to turn these dreams into reality.  I believe that it all comes down to one simple word… discipline.  What do I need to do every day, every week, every month to make “it” happen?  The word is simple but the fulfillment is challenging.  It takes focus and conviction to follow your plan and complete your journey.

4.  Don’t beat myself up – Are you your own worst enemy?  We are all harder on ourselves than others are.  I know that I set lofty expectations for myself … but I’ve also gained the awareness to take more of a learning stance when things don’t go according to my plan.  I can’t berate myself when there is a set back that I can’t control.  It’s an opportunity to learn something, adjust my attitude, adjust the plan, and try again.  I need to be gracious to myself and a little more forgiving… I figure that I’ll learn more…

2011 was a fantastic year filled with many great memories and accomplishments.  In looking back, my calendar is evident of all the plans that were fulfilled!   Yet 2012 is white pages on a blank calendar with each day eager to be filled in.  I am controlling my excitement until I have a chance to sit down and start filling in the pages of my journey.

2012 will be a year of action for me.  I challenge you to follow my lead in these next few weeks as I uncover how to put these four steps into practice.  I promise that it’ll be a wonderful yet challenging journey.  My goal is to live life at full throttle and not look back and think “I should have…”  What is your goal for 2012?  I encourage you to take my challenge and make 2012 your best year yet!